Thursday, June 14, 2012

CELLULOID BLOODBATH: MORE PREVUES FROM HELL is Hack For Gore!




CELLULOID BLOODBATH:
MORE PREVUES FROM HELL
Is Hack For Gore!
(With A Second Sneak Eeeek-Yew!
Witches Even Wetter, Redder and Deader
Than The First Slime!)

by Terry Blass

Not long aghoul, Temple of Schlock announced the release on Youtube of the first trailer to CELLUOID BLOODBATH: MORE PREVUES FROM HELL . Yeah, well, that was then, and this is, as it werewolf, howl. Since then, why, even just the number of mind-numbing horror film trailers featured in CB's second to its own self trailer has gone and grue some!

Witch means, dear readers, we are once gored pleased to announce that the second trailer to CELLULOID BLOODBATH is premiering on Youtube right this scary night, I SAID fright!

So, if you haunt caught CB's first trailer yet ... or if it hasn't caught you ... we at ToS bat you velcome as you click below. You von't believe what you Lugosi!


There. Had a SNUFF? No? Ghouled, cuz the trailer to that film's about to get mentioned slayed her. Mean slime, here's a list of ghost, I SAID guest hosts: Joe Zaso, Raine Brown and Happy Goldsplatt. Yeah, they couldn't get Ed Wood so they got dead wood!

Plus there's my favorite monster movie host, ever, John Zacherle, who is also the only horror guy I ever met who knows what they used to treat water troughs with for poultry “blow-out.” Trust me, Zach & I once about cleared a hall of horror veterans who've seen it all on that one, hearing about such got them so chicken. In fact, they kinda looked quite chicken de-beak-ed. So hey, Zach, if you're out scare, may you forever ghoul Roland along.

Sorry I didn't list Furry Couch, but my ed sez I can only go sofa.

Trailers to “B,” as per co-editor/co-writer/co-producer James Murray, Jr., seen include appearances by, among others, Caroline Munro, Johnny Legend, 42nd Street Pete, Debra Lamb, Linnea Quigley and George Kosana, for sheriff enuff!


And here's some of the like 50 trailers' titles to, before CELLUOID BLOODBATH's DVD release October 9th, hexample:

ALABAMA'S GHOST
No, I haint south of the Mason-Dixon lyin'!

RATTLERS
Hey, didn't I see that at the drive-in with my coil-friend?

DRIVE-IN MASACRE
Witch features lotsa popcarnage.

EYEBALL
Shee-eeesh, can these jokes get any cornea?

TENDER FLESH
No doubt from someone's hacks off skin.

CORRUPTION
w/ Peter Cushing as a mod doctor.

GORE-GORE GIRLS
getting as Lewis it gets.

WORM EATERS
And if you think that's crawl...

PSYCHO FROM TEXAS
w/ first-timer Linnea Quigley, who if she'd been in WORM EATERS coulda been squiggly!

DON'T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT
... or you're in for debasement!

SHE FREAK
And that, fear fans, haint anywhere near carnival!

So scare, don't say we didn't warn you. What, you're already planning your '012 Halloween party around the release to DVD of CELLUOID BLOODBATH? Seriously? You say now there's so many vampires coming to your bloodfestivities, you think you need to add to your mansion another wing?

Hey, unlife's a Blasko blast, haunted?

Oh Toho NOOOO, I just realized... you think you got problems? Now that I stink about Pit, since now we've begun planning our Halloween hoodoo-down around CELLULOID BLOODBATH all dead-y ... how the HELL am I gonna Keep away the friggin' Mothra-in-law?


Ghoul fang it anyway, where did I leave the phone number for that guy who came to our gore-iginal PREVUES FROM HELL Halloween party? Yeah, the feller who said he thought she was “pimply Ghidorah-ble!”

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